We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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