Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
