Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Fuck appropriateness.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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