I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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