I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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