you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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