whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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