so let's talk penis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
