funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
