As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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