We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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