i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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