i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
