So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
