she smelled like a LAN party
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
