I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize