I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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