He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
