I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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