I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
