I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
