I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
