He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
