mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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