Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
