Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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