I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
