I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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