Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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