This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
