Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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