Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
