a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
should my penis look like a turkey
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
