nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
