Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
