You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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