Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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