Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
