Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
