you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
