everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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