My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
