He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
