She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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