So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
