is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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