ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
