mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
