glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
