I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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