in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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