Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
