Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
