my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
