Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I sprained my soul last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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