It's Friday. Sex?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
