needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
