i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
