As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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