So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize