I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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