IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
