It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
