pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
